Horrific Accidents Happen

 Letter from Kit Perkins

 1/14/10

 With a heavy heart, I write to share some of my thoughts about an unimaginable tragedy that struck a Vermont family three weeks ago. On Christmas Day, Chris and Deanna Bailey lost their two beloved sons, Solon (12) and Liam (10) to an accidental house fire while visiting grandparents in Kentucky.

I barely knew them; I met Chris once, talked for a couple hours, and corresponded with him a few times as part of my work. I liked and respected him immediately for his valuable contribution to Vermont’s thriving local farm and food industry, and his calm, thoughtful demeanor.

This news has felt like a deep kick in my stomach every day since I heard, and has kept me awake at night with grief for their loss, and fear about just how fragile life is. I am a survivor of a traumatic house fire that happened when I was five years old, and I am now a parent of two small children. I know how attached we are in my small family, how much love and energy and emotion I wrap around my kids. They are the core part of everything I do; they are the greatest influences in my life. The thought of losing them is beyond devastating.

It is human to ask “why” such nightmares happen. We wish we could fit this into some comfortable explanation. Unfortunately, there are no tidy answers to that question. And, as compassionate people, we ask “what can we do to help?” At the memorial service for Solon and Liam on January 9 Chris and Deanna said that it helps them to focus on their amazing memories of their cherished sons. It helps them to know that we are holding them in our prayers and in our hearts, and sending blessings for peace and comfort, for the rest of their lives.

 Horrific accidents do happen, and we can only do so much to prevent them. I know I can’t keep my family in a bubble, and we will all face pain and suffering throughout our lives. But, whatever I can do, I will try to be thorough. I will work harder to be patient and compassionate with my children, being present with them every day, teaching them to be patient and compassionate people, considerate of others in need. And, these days, I have been focusing on fire safety around my home.

And, thanks for holding in your hearts Solon and Liam, their family, and all families who live with such losses. It all helps.

Kit Perkins